Sunday, March 29, 2009

Frenemy

While the Urban Dictionary has many descriptions for this useful word, I chose the following: The type of "friend" whose words or actions bring you down.(whether you realize it as intentional or not) I was listening intently to my new favorite XM station, Cosmo Radio, and heard the word frenemy for the first time. It is now part of my personal lexicon. In an earlier blog, I was whining about the state of my friendships. I had lost two good friends last year, and was lamenting the fact that my "inner circle" was getting smaller and smaller. I still feel this is a good thing. I want my gals to have my back as I would surely have any of theirs. We share intimate details that none of us would want any one else under God's beauteous earth to hear about. Most of the time it's silly, girly stuff - yes, even at my age! And, other times, it's serious and earth-shattering. This can be scary business at times, but there always has been a code that we follow in order to protect each other - at all costs. We laugh at times saying "What happens in _____, stays in ____". But, it's true and solid that it stays there. It also makes me think of that email that comes around every so often, describing how you are suppose to skid in to the grave with a cocktail in one hand, your make up smeared, your body used up ... etc. Life is suppose to be fun. PERIOD! I refuse to not have fun and to enjoy every minute God decides to bless me with! My inner circle certainly gets this. And, I would shoot daggers in someone's eyes if they dissed any of my inner circle friends. That is what you do. So, then why did I bring up frenemy? Probably because of the judging nature of these frenemies. The holier than though people that feel that their way is better ... no ... superior to any one else's. We all react differently to certain things. Death, divorce, anxiety, a midlife crisis, menopause, etc. There is no "right" way to react to any of these. However, those that feel they have the patent on understanding people, feel it's necessary to make sure you know there is a right way. No one knows what is going on in someone else's world. You have to walk a mile in my shoes to sort of understand my life as I would have to walk a mile in any one of my friend's shoes. You just never know. So, why pretend to know and to know better? If I am behaving in a certain way, it's my life, it's my decision, it's my bad, it's my good ... whatever! It's mine! I own it ... I always have and I always will. Frenemies be damned!